Back To School Blues !!

Helping busy parents ease the “Back to School” chaos!

Dreading the hectic schedule and homework hassles that come with the new school year? Relax. Here are some “best practices” from the business world that will make the back-to-school transition far less stressful.  By Jamie Woolf

If you’re like many moms, you’re already singing the back-to-school blues. The rejuvenating summer break is almost over, and right around the corner lurk nightly homework struggles, head-spinning carpool schedules, and soul-draining shopping sprees. Once the school year gets underway it’s not so bad, but the transition is stressful indeed. It may be surprising but you—yes, you—may be doing things to make this harder on yourself and your family than it needs to be.

Most parents, especially those who work outside the home, dread the start of the school year . And that’s understandable. Juggling work, school, and after-school obligations can be tricky, to say the least. But kids look to you as their leader, and your attitude and actions will set the tone for the back-to-school transition. If you set it up the right way, everyone is more likely to fall in line and do what they’re supposed to do—maybe even cheerfully.

Adopting business leadership strategies can make the difference between a smooth and a chaotic back-to-school transition. Here are a few insights and suggestions:

Strategy 1: “Talk up” the new school year. Imagine what it would be like if your boss approached every assignment with sighs, eye-rolls, and a constant barrage of negativity. You wouldn’t feel very inspired to do your best work, would you? Of course not! Well, the same principle applies to school. If every other word out of your mouth conveys how much you dread getting up early, supervising homework, running to sports practices and music lessons, and so forth, your child is hardly going to be enthusiastic about it either.

Always frame the impending school year in a positive light. When you seem happy and excited about something, chances are good your kids will catch your upbeat mood. They’ll be much more likely to cooperate.

Strategy 2: Make sure kids have the right tools for the job. No business leader would expect her employees to get the job done without phones, computers, Blackberries, and other tools of the trade. So make sure your kids are well equipped for the school year. Don’t just fly through the annual “school supply” shopping ritual—make it an event. Take the kids along and let them select the perfect book bag, the right notebook colors, and so forth. The same goes for back-to-school wardrobes.

Just as leaders create buy-in by having employees participate in decision making, you can help your kids get excited about school by letting them equip themselves for the upcoming year. It’s amazing how much more likely an 8-year-old girl is to take ownership of her homework when she gets to carry it around in a Hannah Montana backpack!

Strategy 3: Enlist the whole family in setting big picture goals. Exemplary business leaders know that when we don’t set goals, we’re susceptible to enervating detours that take us away from where we want to go. Why is goal setting so important for business leaders and parents alike? Because the very act of articulating a goal and committing to it focuses our attention on the bigger meaning and inspires us to not lose our motivation over those niggling details. The clearer your mental picture of your desired outcomes, the more likely you are to behave in a way that supports your goals.

Talk to family members about their hopes and concerns about the upcoming school year. What is your and your child’s picture of an ideal school year? What about your spouse’s? And last but not least, what about your own goals? Help everyone figure out what they want to achieve this year, and they’ll have an inspiring vision to work toward.

Strategy 4: Chart out the specifics . If a business leader announces to his staff, “We’re going to have the best year ever,” that’s all well and good but how will this occur? Just like when you declare your New Year’s resolution—I’m going to get physically fit—you know what happens: You go gangbusters at the gym for a couple weeks and then it’s back to your old sedentary habits. The secret is to articulate specific, measurable action plans: Together with family members, come up with concrete plans for sharing chores, doing homework, and having fun throughout the school year.

If you say, “Everyone does homework from 4:00 to 5:30, then we do chores and prepare dinner together, and then we’ll go to the park or play outside until bedtime,” well, that’s a lot different from making some vague statement like “Homework comes first.” Specificity is the key.”

Strategy 5: Rally the troops . Behind every successful business project, there is a team with the right abilities and a common goal. Raising a child takes more than a few stalwart villagers. Write down lists of people who can help with carpooling; this will lighten your driving load and your carbon footprint. Share household chores with your children; this will teach responsibility and alleviate some of your burden. In fact, if a task makes you cranky, get rid of it altogether if you can.

If you hate making lunches every morning, for example, delegate this chore to your kids. Don’t fall into the “Super Mom” trap of trying to do too much yourself. It only makes you resentful and creates tension around the whole issue of school.

Strategy 6: Identify potential challenges and create your plan of attack. The best businesses are keenly aware of the obstacles they may encounter and have plans to address them. Instead of losing sleep, make a list of the challenges you anticipate facing this school year. Let’s say you have three kids at three different after school programs, each with the same pick-up time. Instead of wringing your hands over the impossibility of it all, go back to strategy four to convene your support team. And sometimes, the biggest obstacle you have to overcome is not one of logistics, but of attitude.

One mom told me she dreaded the math homework because her son, who is worried about his first year of algebra, “is terrible at math, just like me.” But all that does is reinforce the notion that success requires inborn abilities. Wouldn’t it be better to c onvey the message that success comes from practice, hard work, and a readiness to persevere after failure? Instead of buying into your child’s negative mindset, say, “Math doesn’t come easily for anyone. It takes a lot of hard work and practice.” Remember that optimism is contagious…and if need be, you can always hire a tutor!

Strategy 7: Keep your own priorities straight . The best leaders spend most of their time on what matters most. It’s standard operating procedure for working moms to live out of alignment with their highest priorities. We’re just too busy, too tired, and too overwhelmed to take the time to go to the gym or to pursue a long lost dream. But remember, if you can’t stay focused on your own goals, you aren’t teaching your kids to do likewise by example.

If you realize that you’re letting your priorities fall by the wayside, go back to strategy three and decide how to make your calendar reflect your big picture goals for a successful school year. While it’s true that the school schedule can feel overwhelming, don’t let it take over your life. Remember, you’re not in school; your kids are. Keep using your support network and carve out some time for yourself.

Strategy 8: Get back on track . Just like in the corporate world, you will hit glitches that throw your good intentions into chaos. Go back to your picture of success and decide what you need to do to get back on track. Math battles are becoming a way of life? Convene your support team and consider hiring a tutor or scheduling a teacher conference. Instead of falling back into the nightly homework battles, take decisive action to break the cycle.

Getting off track doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It just means a course correction is in order. Not only will regrouping hopefully solve your problem, it will serve as a good lesson for your kids: When Plan A doesn’t work, you don’t give up—you just put Plan B into action.

Strategy 9: Celebrate endings and beginnings. Business leaders create rituals at the end of a project before jumping into the next big endeavor. Before diving straight back to school, don’t leave the summer behind without sharing gratitude about the summer’s greatest hits. Allow family members to talk about what they enjoyed most about the summer and encourage them to express how they feel about going back to school. You might throw an “end of summer” party to give your kids a chance to mark the transition.

Also, don’t forget that the things that make summer so great don’t have to be left behind entirely. You can find creative ways to bring bits of summer into the school year. Why not camp out in the living room and roast marshmallows in the fireplace once in a while? Summer is a state of mind, not a state of temperature.

Ultimately, helping your family navigate the back-to-school transition doesn’t have to be an exercise in hand-wringing and hair-pulling. Rather, it can be an opportunity for everyone to get refocused and revved up-starting with you.

There’s a natural slow-down in the summertime that helps everyone, not just kids, get rested and revitalized. For instance, most companies see business slow down in the summer as well. This rest period sets us up for the next part of the cycle, which is about new creativity and productivity. So rather than resenting the change, embrace it! Recommit to your big picture goals and let them guide your daily actions. Looked at in this way, the back-to-school transition will be less chaotic and more joyful, because it’s a path to the next exciting phase for you and your family.